Same Sky [Light Novel]

[Hope]

So I felt like writing something and drawing at the same time???
I guess I wanted to try something new and this came about...
Ah now I need the motivation to finish and the readers to help me out!??
If you're even just viewing this, you have my sincerest thanks. I hope it doesn't bore you....

Prologue:

Spoiler

    The moon in the sky shines brightly, tirelessly, with the same radiance that it had from the day that the world had ceased to move. In this world, the skies are not filled with clouds and planes, but with dragons, robots, fairies, and an array of other creatures that would, quite frankly, lead even the most uncreative minds to believe that the imagination truly has no limits. In this world, time has stopped, nobody ages, and life cannot be taken away through disease as it does not exist. In this world, resources grow in unlimited supplies and humans can bend the creatures to their will. In this world, dreams are a reality. In this nightmare, all existence is to end in two days.
    A creatures roar in the distance, and two men face each other. One is hidden by the shadows, untouched by the moonlight’s radiance, while the other shines brighter than the sun.The man shrouded in darkness pointed towards the creature standing behind his opponent.
    “This is the final attack.”
    The man in light began to sweat and grip his hands tighter. The quiet ocean forced out multiple tsunamis, and the air twisted all around the field in which they had fought. A dragon with ten heads lunged forward. The shadowy figure let out a commanding sound.
    “Dragon Revelation -”
    The forces of nature covered the scene and all senses of hearing, sight, taste, and  touch vanished. A voice pierced through the chaos.
    “Perfect Guard!” A desperate scream rang out.
    “Silent Punisher and Elixir Sommelier guards!” It sounded exhausted, but it contained a will that would not waver.
    “Quintet Wall!” More units appeared by the hero’s side.
    “I intercept with Black Dragon Knight Vortimer and Player of the Holy Bow, Viviane!” A wall blocked the onslaught and suddenly the world came to an abrupt silence.
    “My Stand and Draw…” The light surrounding grew dimmer, and the hero was panting and sweating. With one last ounce of energy, a card was placed down onto the surface in front of him.
    “A broken heart with unwavering conviction bears the fate of the world on it’s shoulders. Eternity awaits!”



    "Crossride!!! Spectral Overlord Dragon!!!"

...and that is how the world ended.

Chapter 1:

Spoiler

   
 Sometimes a story shouldn’t be about you… well at least, the way I see it… everyone keeps thinkin’ they’re the main character… “I did this great feat… “ “I did that…” Well I guess people see things from their point of few but I mean, they’re wrong. It doesn’t matter what people think, I’m the main character of this story, and that of the world altogether.

    I was followin’ my buddy through the crowd. We were at some crazy, filled up shopping district area. He told me he was preparin’ for a fight or something. This wasn’t any ordinary fight, it was a fight to the death! I mean I feel goosebumps thinkin’ about it! People usually would get worried and stuff, but I mean this is my friend we’re talking about!
    Of course, I figured since it was gonna be a deadly fight, I knew what store he was looking for, but I felt like calling him over anyways.
    “Hey Seq!” I waved at him through the crowd. It was mostly kids though, around the age of 5 through 10 that were in the store with me, but I mean, the kid inside me just wanted to buy some of these things.
    “Tch, why do you want to stop by this place again, I have to get ready for this afternoon.” Sequoia seemed little irritated, but he kind...a was always like this so I’ve somehow learned to take this tone of voice in as a, “let’s stick around here for a bit.”
     The store had the best kids toys in town, I mean this was a hobby for kids everywhere. It had AK-47s, RPGs, M16’s and I especially enjoyed seeing the combat knife in stock as I have an especially rare one at home. Kids nowadays enjoy shooting each other and cutting each other up with these, it’s a harmless hobby, and I myself, unlike my buddy Seq collect these harmless knives and guns to play with and an am not capable of harming anyone.
    “Buy your toy and let’s get moving…” He fixed his glasses and moved towards his destination.
    “Alright bro, right behind ya’!”
    I continued following him until he came to a halt, an empty store. The door slid open and the atmosphere from the carefree shopping district was closed off by the door behind us when we entered the shop. A stern looking man with a scar over his right hand stood behind the counter. He was pretty ripped, he had red hair that stood up. He looked pretty intimidating, or funny, I can’t tell since all those muscles really do is lift heavy objects, he can’t harm anyone.
    “Seq, glad too see ya alive and well!” He lifted his muscle-covered right arm up with the light reflecting on his nasty-as-hell scar. “You being here must mean you must be aiming for another kill today, boy, you always seem to get into trouble.”
    Muscle-red-hair is right, or as  Seq calls him, Shin. Where the origin of the name “Shin” comes from?... Even Seq or the muscly guy don’t know themselves, it just came to mind naturally to both of ‘em. Sequoia walked up to the glass counter and leaned forward, then he proceeded to look downwards.Looking at his eyes, he was doing a bit of reading.
    “Seq hopefully you didn’t forget your weapon’s license, that’s all I gotta say or I can’t give ya’ that.” Shin explained. Sequoia immediately reached for his pockets and unfolded a weapon’s license, and with it, a good amount of money.
    “Give me four rounds of Dragonic Kaiser Vermillion.”
    “Oooohoho… Vermillion huh? Must be a pretty serious opponent for you then?” Shin put leather gloves on his hands, inserted keys into the counter’s door, and slid the glass counter open. He pulled out not one, but four deadly weapons, four Dragonic Kaiser Vermillion. He inspected the cards to assure that they will function correctly and looked back up at Seq. “So who’s the poor ‘fella?”
    “Ito Paraid.” He replied almost immediately, with an absolutely dedicated tone in his voice.
    Ito Paraid… If I remember correctly he is a higher-up and very popular for… well.. being a higher-up! Yeah! He’s like a celebrity, he enjoys talking about himself and how great he is, and I mean he gets very popular when he does that, because he’s a higher-up and that’s what people do, they like to kiss the butts of higher-ups! I heard one time, he was just talkin’ bout his daily routine and suddenly, he got lots of praise for it. “Wow you are so amazing Ito…” “Wow dude you work out!”. . . Like those kinds of things. He talks about himself so highly and so much that people want to crown him as the ruler of the world. I mean he’s going to become super higher then, like people won’t even have to bend down to kiss his butt anymore!
He also seems to get away with all sorts of B.S just cause people enjoy the taste of butt so much. He'll say this and that. I mean if he were a normal person, it'd be unfair. He's worse than scum and there's better people out there sitting in the slums than him. Yet, here people are, worshiping him because for how great he is at worshiping himself. I do admit, he does his higher-up job in the system at times... at times. He mostly just sticks around with the peasants, waiting for the praise to come in just so he can feel great about himself. When he actually wasn't a higher-up, he was just some fool talkin' to himself. Somehow, now that he's got some sort of power in the world, people lose a sense of fairness around him. He can twist and blotch it up with his group of lame-as-heck followers, making lame excuses and putting the blame on the innocent party, but I'm pissed at it, the truth is reality, and reality is the truth... This dumba-

    Then it hit me, he was going to die.
    After this afternoon, Ito Paraid may be no more.

    Seq put his newly purchased artillery into his deck box and tucked them away into his pockets.
    “Let’s go Watson, It’s time to kill again.” He called to me, and we walked out of the shop together, heading towards a new destination, for a battle to the death.

Sequoia Aaraa~ Art



 

Chapter 2 Preview

Spoiler

A fighter's life is like a line of rope in the hands of death. With every damage taken, death will tease the fighter by cutting it little by little, causing pain and the taste of the afterlife to enter the fighter's mouth. It doesn't matter if they have one or even five damage... if the fighter is tough then they can go til five, if not, sadly one damage point is where their life ends. Toughness stops being a deciding factor once it reaches the sixth damage though, the line of life is cut by death's scythe. That's just how it works.

[Jai Hearts]

could you give each line some space apart ?

its hard to read em when there all mashed together.

all in all interesting start.

[ShackledAlice]

Holy crap Hope this is amazing .o.
I know you didn't ask for feedback/criticism but I gave it to you anyway. Looks like you need it, no offence.

The only feedback I can give is that it isn't exactly clear in what it wants to convey. Adding to that, the dialogue looks like it desperately wants some description.

Spoiler

We know nothing about the antagonist's traits, other than overbearing confidence. Are there any traits they have? Laughing? Unnatural calm? Maybe a twirling of the hand, or shaking of the head. We aren't even lead as to what gender they are .-.

Now, on to the actual contents of said prologue...

Spoiler

We open the text with a beautiful image. A beautiful idea. But there are no details of scenery. Is this world full of forest? Is it mountainous? Does it look like the surface of Earth, or Pluto. Does it even have a surface?

Next, the battle. From what I gathered, Antagonist points and declares his "final attack", to which the hero guards a total of four separate times (Or so I can gather from the text.) Did the Antagonist pull a Stand? Does his unit have an ability to stand? What is happening here I'm so confused .-.

Finally, the stand and draw. our hero's light is fading. In his last, desperate act of will, he crossrides... Spectral Overlord Dragon. Which I continuously think is a fitting name for the Antagonist's ace unit. Where's the radiance? This "brighter than the sun" stuff? Specters aren't bright and sunny! They're mean! :<

Also, as a side note (although this may be what you're going for), why did the Protaganist's ace unit destroy the flipping world. .-. Again, sunlight and radiance. Not.. Specters. :<

Again, this could all be your stylistic preference. Maybe you intentionally made the antagonist appear as an emotionless, monotonous robot. Maybe you wanted readers to imagine the world for themselves.
Maybe you like specters.

[Jai Hearts]

i cant believe you had the lowest feedback of anyone asking to make a fan fic.

second lowest is me.

[Hope]

Ah yes well it's supposed to be very ambiguous.

Spoiler

I'm planning to use this entire thing in the end with waaaay more detail. It's the end in the beginning after all.

[Jai Hearts]

all and all i love the creativity in your writing.

plan your story well and you will rock it.

[Hope]

Welp updated with the first actual chapter and a design I'm thinking of for one of the main characters!
It's written differently than the Prologue as Chapter 1 is now in 1st person! Whoa!!!!
I also added a little preview for Chapter 2 which I am in the process of also thinking up art for!
... Yeah!! Hope you guys like it.

[Jai Hearts]

that was interesting.

love the whole cards are weapons theme and for a world where cardfighting can kill im surprised at how light the atmosphere is.